Peace in the Middle East!

Incredible news to report from the Middle East Today.  Leaders from the "Big Three" Monotheist religions met this week in Jerusalem.  They announced that they were no longer going to fight over whose religious beliefs were superior. They have decided to unify their religions.  How is this possible?


Ben-Gurion Rabin made a statement, "Look, we all knew that we were full of shit for thousands of years.  It's true we all have some rather ridiculous stories and beliefs.  It is difficult to keep the flock interested and engaged.  So you are faced with the challenge of constantly coming up with strange and shocking beliefs or laws in our religions.  Frankly, we are all surprised at how long humanity has gone along believing in our mythologies."


Mr Rabin why are you leaders coming out and admitting this now?  Cardinal O'Flannery steps up, "I think we all just realized that our people have a devoted faith without any facts to support ridiculous claims by us.  So why not join forces and work together?"


But, by telling us this openly won't that remove the need for you as religious leaders?  Won't your religions fail?
Imam Huzurdaddy, "Obviously, you missed the point of the earlier statement by the Cardinal.  Our people are fanatics and they will do whatever we tell them.  Even when we admit openly to you that we are controlling and manipulating them for our own personal gain and purposes.  Look we decided why fight over the power and money.  There is more than enough to go around and if we get organized, I mean really organized we can dominate the World and finally kick the Polytheist religions to the curb"  Mr Rabin adds, "Our real enemy is the Polytheists.  I mean c'mon if your going make up shit don't you think it makes more sense to have one all powerful God?


Iman Huszurdaddy, "Those Polytheists really are hacks.  I mean we really botched our co-opting of Christianity with Muhuammad not having a clear line of succession.  It created a number of Muslim break-offs and ridiculous in-fighting. But if we can bury the hatchet not only with each other, but with our Christian and Jewish brothers I am sure we will be a force to be reckoned with.  Suck it Hindus and Buddhists!"